


happy little accidents

by sharkfish



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Asexual Castiel (Supernatural), Asexual Character, Demisexual Dean Winchester, First Kiss, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-12 21:38:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sharkfish/pseuds/sharkfish
Summary: The problem is that now Cas knows what Dean’s freckles look like from centimeters away. He knows — however briefly — the softness of Dean’s mouth. He can’t stop wondering what it would’ve been like if Dean had kissed back instead of drawing away and looking at Cas like he’s an idiot.





	happy little accidents

**Author's Note:**

> [suckerfordeansfreckles](http://suckerfordeansfreckles.tumblr.com) helped with this one. :)

It was an accident. 

One minute they’re laughing, stupidly close on the couch, and then Cas leans just a little closer to kiss the corner of Dean’s smiling mouth. 

The part of Cas’s brain that’s not stupid with stolen whiskey tells him to make a joke of it. But Dean is staring at him, not smiling anymore. 

“I’m sorry,” Cas says.

“I’m never letting you drink again,” Dean says, “if it makes you start kissing random people.” 

Cas forces a laugh. “You’re a bad influence.” 

“I’m gonna get a coke or something. You want something?” 

“Dr. Pepper, please,” Cas says. 

“‘Dr. Pepper, please,’” Dean mimics, like he always does when he thinks Cas is being overly formal. “You’re my best friend, dude. Don’t treat me like I’m your mom.” 

Dean hops up and comes back with a soda for each of them, tabs already popped, and Cas acts a little drunker than he actually is so Dean doesn’t realize the kiss wasn’t a whiskey-fueled accident, just a loved-you-before-you-knew-my-name accident. 

Dean sits a little further away on the couch when he comes back. Usually they’d end up in bed together, not actually touching but close enough Cas imagines he can feel Dean’s heat, on nights like these, but instead Cas pretends to fall asleep on the couch so Dean doesn’t have to stumble through explaining why they can’t anymore. 

 

The problem is that now Cas knows what Dean’s freckles look like from centimeters away. He knows — however briefly — the softness of Dean’s mouth. He can’t stop wondering what it would’ve been like if Dean had kissed back instead of drawing away and looking at Cas like he’s an idiot. 

Cas  _ is _ an idiot. Dean’s secretly a geek genius, but he’s also gorgeous and athletic and popular. He doesn’t call anyone his girlfriend, but there are a flock of girls following him everywhere at school. It’s a terrible thing to say about your best friend, but Cas is almost glad they only have one class together this semester so he won’t have to watch. Won’t have to be brushed aside, like inevitably happens with everyone.

Cas is not hot, which has never concerned him since he didn’t want to be propositioned anyway. And then he met Dean, and it wasn’t too long into being friends that Cas stared in the mirror and wished he was attractive. 

 

“Dude,” Dean says. “Pay attention. This is the best part.” 

Cas blinks. He’d been staring at Dean’s hands and wondering, maybe for the first time ever, what it would be like to be touched by someone.

“We’ve seen this a million times,” Cas says, rolling his eyes. 

A few minutes later, it’s Dean that’s in his own world, fidgeting. 

“Hey, uh. Can I ask you something?” 

Cas’s heart freezes. “Of course.” 

“You’re ace, right?” 

Cas is surprised into silence. They’d never actually discussed that they both liked boys, but anyone who paid as much attention to Dean as Cas does would see the way he looks at some men, the way he stammers and blushes when they talk to him, and everyone at school says Cas is gay anyway, even if that isn’t very accurate. Cas didn’t think Dean even knows what ace  _ is.  _

Dean is sitting further away from him than they used to. Cas knows it’s his fault that Dean doesn’t want to drift close in the center of the couch, shoulders pushed together, Dean squeezing Cas’s knee to make a point every now and then. 

Dean is sitting further away, but he still waits patiently for Cas to find his words, because sometimes Cas needs a little patience, and he’s always loved that Dean doesn’t mind waiting. 

“Yes,” Cas says, and decides not to offer any more.

“So,” Dean says, nervously biting his lip, eyes darting everywhere but Cas. “When you kissed me.” 

Cas flinches and looks at his hands clenched in his lap. “I’m sorry.” 

“I didn’t know you — I mean, you never talk about dating or anything.” 

“I’m not aro,” Cas says. “Maybe just no one’s wanted to date me.” 

Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, you have zero redeeming qualities, which is why we're friends.” 

“I need to go,” Cas says, standing. Dean is used to Cas’s need for alone time and never questions it, though he does walk Cas to the door to give him a  _ see you later  _ and a smile. 

 

Dean says he only bothers to get up on time on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the first-period AP Physics class they share, and he’s waiting on the steps to the east wing when Cas finally finds a parking spot. Dean gives Cas a sleepy smile and holds out a cup from the coffee shop down the street. 

“Caramel latte,” Dean says. 

Cas opens the lid to let a little steam escape, and there’s a heart drawn in the foam. Maybe the baristas just don’t know very many shapes, or maybe Dean has another admirer there. 

“Muffins, too,” Dean says, holding up a bag. “You wanna sit for a minute?” 

“We’re going to be late.” 

Dean shrugs and gives Cas the kind of sweet puppy smile that makes Cas do whatever he wants. They sit on the steps and sip coffee and eat muffins — they always get blueberry and chocolate chip, then tear them in half and share — not saying much, just watching the last few stragglers go into the school. 

“We could ditch,” Dean says.

Cas looks over at Dean. He’s lovely in the morning light, and he looks a little nervous. “Ok,” Cas says. 

“Dude, really? You never skip.” 

“Let’s have an adventure,” Cas says. 

A grin breaks out on Dean’s face. “Seriously? Let’s go.” 

They stand and hurry out to Dean’s ridiculous car and Dean floors it as soon as they’re out of the parking lot. “South Llano?” Dean says. 

“South Llano,” Cas agrees. 

Cas turns the music up — he’s the only one allowed to touch Dean’s stereo — and they both roll their windows down. The traffic sucks, but eventually they make it out of the city, Dean singing loudly along with Norman Greenbaum. 

All summer, they went driving in the Hill Country a couple times a week, taking a picnic out to the lake, hiking around parks looking at birds. (Cas looks at birds; Dean keeps his complaining at low volume to not disturb them.) They haven’t been in months and Cas missed the magic of early-morning drives, cruising at eighty, the calming presence of his favorite person at his side. 

The magic isn’t quite there because Dean’s nervous again, white-knuckled on the steering wheel, chewing on his bottom lip. “I didn’t mean to trap you with me to make you talk about this,” Dean says. 

Cas can’t look at him, focuses out the window at the passing cactus fields. “Talk about what?” 

“Was that your first kiss?” 

“Yes.” 

“I’m sorry it got wasted on me,” Dean says.

“You’re not a waste,” Cas says. He knows how Dean’s dad broke him — is still breaking him — but that’s another thing they don’t talk about.

“It was, um. My first kiss, too.” 

“What?!” Cas nearly gives himself whiplash turning to look at Dean. “But you — Bela. And Lisa, and Cassie.” 

“What about them?” 

“Any of them would kiss you, along with most of the rest of the school population.”

“I —” Dean gets redder, all the way to the tip of his ears. “Guess I’m not into any of them.” 

“You like girls, don’t you?” 

“Sure, I guess so. But I’ve kinda been holding out for someone else.” 

Cas’s heart drops like a boulder into his stomach. “You didn’t ever say.” 

“Well.” Out of the corner of his eye, Cas can see Dean chewing on his lip, but Cas keeps his gaze focused on the road ahead. “Cuz — it’s you.” 

“Me?” Cas says, eyes hot and prickling. “Don’t be cruel, Dean.”

“I’m not, I swear. I mean — shit. Eleven-year-old me wanted my first kiss to be you, and I guess I didn’t stop thinking it.” 

Cas stares at him, feeling like his entire world is being turned upside down. “We didn’t meet until your freshman year.” 

“Yeah. I knew who you were before that.” 

“And you…?” 

Dean laughs, a little self-deprecating and a lot embarrassed. “Had a stupid pathetic crush on you even though you didn’t know who I was? Yeah.” 

“You never said anything.” 

Dean snorts. “You think I should just go around telling people I’m into dudes?” 

“Not if it might get back to your dad, but you tell me a lot of stuff, I thought.” 

“So. I’m just gonna — put it out there. And hope you don’t hate me.” 

“I could never —” 

“I wanted you to  _ want _ to kiss me,” Dean interrupts in a rush. “Not just cuz you were drunk. I — you know,  _ like  _ you.” 

“ _ Like  _ like?” 

“Oh my god,” Dean says, rolling his eyes. “Yes, you dork.” 

Dean pulls into a parking spot near the trailhead they like, the one with the best birds. They get out and start walking without saying anything for a couple minutes. 

“You can’t like me,” Cas says, suddenly remembering that Dean probably thinks he’s a little broken, too. “I’m ace.” 

“So what?” 

“So — you’re not.” 

When Dean’s silent, Cas glances over his shoulder to see Dean with his eyes on the ground and hands shoved in his pockets. “Maybe I kinda am?”

“Kinda?” 

“I mean… I’ve never really thought about fucking anyone. I don’t think I would care if I was a virgin forever or whatever.”

The river comes in sight, and they pause to look just like they always do, except this time Cas is staring at Dean’s profile instead. “Really?” 

Dean shrugs and glances sideways at Cas, then away again, chewing at his lip. It’s the way he looks after Cas has heard his dad yelling from the other room. “I guess so.” 

It takes a few moments to find the bravery, and then Cas says, quiet amidst the birdsong, “I wanted to kiss you.”

Dean looks at Cas again, eyes wide. 

“I like you,” Cas says.

“Do you wanna kiss me again?”

Cas looks down at Dean’s mouth, at his tiny crooked smile, and then back to his eyes. “Yes, I do.” 

“I really want to right now.” 

“Ok,” Cas says, and they turn fully towards each other. 

They both stare at each other, waiting, then blush and giggle when neither moves. “Ok,” Dean says. “Seriously.” 

Dean takes a half-step forward until they’re close enough that he can tilt his head to brush his lips against Cas’s. Cas hadn’t realized Dean is his height now, and he wonders what else about Dean may have changed without him noticing, but then he stops thinking at all when the next kiss is a little fuller, warm and chaste. 

Cas raises his hand to stroke his fingers through the softness of Dean’s hair when they kiss again. Both of them are smiling when it ends, and Dean bumps the tip of his nose against Cas’s in a different kind of kiss. 

“That was awesome,” Dean says. 

“Yes, it was much better than the accidental one.” 

“So, um,” Dean says, shifting on his feet, blushing. “Do you maybe want to be my boyfriend?” 

Cas looks at Dean. It feels almost unreal, Cas’s mouth still tingling, the shadows of leaves dappling Dean’s cheeks. “I do.” 

Dean’s mouth widens in a grin, and Cas grins back, just as enamored with Dean’s smile as he always is. A white egret flies over the river. “Look,” Cas says, pointing. 

“Remember when I saw that green heron before you did?”

Cas scowls. “If you bring that up again, we’re breaking up.” 

Dean kisses his cheek, quick and a little shy. “All right, boyfriend,” Dean says. “I’ll be good.” 

Cas and Dean start down the trail again. It’s single-file for awhile, but when the trail opens up, they walk shoulder to shoulder, holding hands. 

**Author's Note:**

> [reallyelegantsharkfish](http://reallyelegantsharkfish.tumblr.com) on tumblr


End file.
